Member-only story
The counterintuitive reason failure unlocks happiness.
We suck at knowing what we want. Almost all of us.
If you ask most people what they want out of life, the answer will be shaped far more by their perception of what they should want than the reality of their interests and desires.
We want what we’re trained and conditioned to want. Two cars, two kids, and a picket fence. A career full of accolades and attention. Our parents program these wants into us unconsciously, as do our friends, the media we consume, and our surroundings.
If you’re told that you want to do X, Y, and Z your whole life and never given the space to consider if you want to do A, B, and C — your path will seem to make sense.
You’ll think you know the kind of company you want to start, the kind of person you want to collaborate with, date, and marry, and the kind of job that will make you happy and give your life a purpose. You’ll dive into these pre-programmed passions and pursuits with abandon, believing that the only way to know if it works is to give your all, to give everything, to give without reserve.
But how often are we wrong?
How often are our careers littered with jobs that we hated after just one week, where we felt trapped? How often do we get deep into a relationship with someone — who might be…